Swimsuit Saga

What is up with this?

Let's cover-up the front but accentuate my a&$....

I'm 30 something, mother of three and although I do work out regularly - my body looks like a science experiment. I'm skinny in some places, lumpy in others but I don't think I'm unique. Matter -of -fact, I think lots of moms share in my swimsuit dilemma.

So the question is -Why is there not a suit made especially for moms like me! A complete MOM line of suits that specialize in hiding our birthing hips, lifting our deflated breast and sucking in our tummies...Oh and the catch is that it has to be cute too. I don't want large Hawaiian flowers plasterd all over it either. Is this asking too much?

For Mothers Day when asked what I wanted I said a full day of childless swimsuit shopping...I AM on a mission. So if you see me at the pool or water park and I'm sporting my new suit (which I'm sure I settled on) help a sister out...Just compliment me please. Tell me how good I look...lie if you have to. I'd do it for you!